| This life recovery book was co-authored by Dr. Duane & Darilyn Bemis. The book is a biblical approach to emotional cleansing and healing for today's saints. You may order your own signed copy now! Over 90 illustrations by Duane are included. For a donation of $25.00 through the secure PayPal system, just click on the button below and we will mail it to your house or wherever you designate. The price for shipping is included in your donation. Both Books in Spanish too. |
| Get your autographed copy of "Twice Broken Once Healed." |
Chapter One "Twice Broken"
Twenty-eight years ago, I lay upon a bed suffering
fractured ribs, a broken nose, and a separated sternum.
My physical body healed quickly; within twelve weeks I
was physically doing well. However, found within the
walls of this man's heart were death, guilt, and
brokenness. The memories, the hurt, and all the grief
were buried within the walls of my own heart and mind; I
thought I would never have to experience this sorrow
again.
However, there was no doctor to heal this man's heart
and emotions. There was no
counselor to help this heart find its pieces so it could be
put together once more. I longed for peace, but only
found torment. My only son Andrew and my daughter-to-
be Nicole
were dead.
My son's head was resting upon
my shoulder: my last memory. I had made
him a seat between the front bucket seats.
He had felt safe in his father's control.
Andrew Duane Bemis had turned two
years old about two months before. Now
he was dead; dead because I might have
fallen asleep at the wheel of my car; dead
because I placed him in harm’s way. I
placed him in between the two front seats
in a homemade seat; dead because of my
negligence of trying to drive all night. I
had chosen to place a television set in the
back seat, with all my belongings inside
my compact car, instead of the most
precious cargo: my son.
Twenty-eight years ago, I lay upon a bed suffering
fractured ribs, a broken nose, and a separated sternum.
My physical body healed quickly; within twelve weeks I
was physically doing well. However, found within the
walls of this man's heart were death, guilt, and
brokenness. The memories, the hurt, and all the grief
were buried within the walls of my own heart and mind; I
thought I would never have to experience this sorrow
again.
However, there was no doctor to heal this man's heart
and emotions. There was no
counselor to help this heart find its pieces so it could be
put together once more. I longed for peace, but only
found torment. My only son Andrew and my daughter-to-
be Nicole
were dead.
My son's head was resting upon
my shoulder: my last memory. I had made
him a seat between the front bucket seats.
He had felt safe in his father's control.
Andrew Duane Bemis had turned two
years old about two months before. Now
he was dead; dead because I might have
fallen asleep at the wheel of my car; dead
because I placed him in harm’s way. I
placed him in between the two front seats
in a homemade seat; dead because of my
negligence of trying to drive all night. I
had chosen to place a television set in the
back seat, with all my belongings inside
my compact car, instead of the most
precious cargo: my son.
Chapter Two "Encounter With the Light"
Eight years after that tragic morning, I found myself
depressed and ready to commit suicide at another
cement bridge. This time, instead ending it from the
surface of the bridge, I wanted to drive
my borrowed Volkswagen bus into the bridge abutment.
Years later, it dawned on me that the very structure, not
the same place, but the same type of structure, was
where my children died. This would be the ultimate irony
demonstrating "what goes around comes around." How
could a person end up in this state of mind? For me, it
was real easy—I never dealt with the accident, and it
was eating me up from the inside. The possibility that the
death of my own children was by my own hands was too
much to hold inside for those eight years. No one talked
about the accident. No one
knew what to say, so everyone said nothing--including
myself. I did not know how to feel, how to cry, or how to
act. Running was my motto. I ran from my marriage, I ran
from life, and now I
wanted the final escape, this time by
death.
Instead of running to drugs or
alcohol, I ran to pursue education, thank
God. I needed to feel good about myself;
since I was a high school dropout, I wanted to make
something out of life and go back to school. I
started attending a community college; after a few years
of night school, I graduated. However, I
still had not honestly faced my accident, so
this became a temporary fix. Inside, I was still riddled with
guilt and shame. I did not know what to do with the pain,
hurt, and self-rejection; so I continued to run.
Eight years after that tragic morning, I found myself
depressed and ready to commit suicide at another
cement bridge. This time, instead ending it from the
surface of the bridge, I wanted to drive
my borrowed Volkswagen bus into the bridge abutment.
Years later, it dawned on me that the very structure, not
the same place, but the same type of structure, was
where my children died. This would be the ultimate irony
demonstrating "what goes around comes around." How
could a person end up in this state of mind? For me, it
was real easy—I never dealt with the accident, and it
was eating me up from the inside. The possibility that the
death of my own children was by my own hands was too
much to hold inside for those eight years. No one talked
about the accident. No one
knew what to say, so everyone said nothing--including
myself. I did not know how to feel, how to cry, or how to
act. Running was my motto. I ran from my marriage, I ran
from life, and now I
wanted the final escape, this time by
death.
Instead of running to drugs or
alcohol, I ran to pursue education, thank
God. I needed to feel good about myself;
since I was a high school dropout, I wanted to make
something out of life and go back to school. I
started attending a community college; after a few years
of night school, I graduated. However, I
still had not honestly faced my accident, so
this became a temporary fix. Inside, I was still riddled with
guilt and shame. I did not know what to do with the pain,
hurt, and self-rejection; so I continued to run.
| Table of Contents 1.“Twice Broken” 2. “Encounter with the Light” 3. “The Pure in Heart” 4. “The Temple of God” 5. “Haggai” 6. “12 Buckets” 7. “Rebuild the City of Jerusalem” 8. “Dungeon to Castle” 9. “Confronting Goliath” 10. “Genuine Forgiveness,” by Darilyn Bemis 11. “Christianity Without Excuse ” 12. “Useful for the Master” 13. “Under the Shadow” 14. “Fill the House” 15. “White as Snow” 16. “The Blood of Christ” 17. “Sanctification” |
| Excerpts from four of the chapters of Twice Broken Once Healed |
Chapter Six "12 Buckets"
Behold, before my eyes as I worshipped God and gave
Him the highest glory and as I glorified His begotten Son.
I, a simple man of dust, saw a man building an altar
before his God. This vision came to me in the middle of a
church service and I know, I know and I know it to be the
truest of Heavenly visions.
But, let us join in prayer to hear
what the Spirit is saying to each of us and
to the Church. “Father, help us to grasp
what it is that You want us to think about.
Help us to act upon Your teaching found
on these pages. We want a closer and
better walk with You. Let this closer walk
begin today as we read this chapter. Free
our hearts to hear, see, and know You
better. Amen and amen.”
Here is the vision: This man started
to build his altar to the one he called the
First and the Last, the holder of the keys to
Death and Hades, known to all as the
Lord Jesus Christ. The altar was made
with twelve stones, not stones that had
been chiseled or polished, but twelve
natural stones of earth. After the completion of the altar,
he took a shovel, dug a ditch around the altar about three
feet deep, and completely encompassed the altar of
stones.
I first thought the man was Elijah and the story from the
old testament. The story found in first Kings chapter
eighteen. You remember the story: Elijah gathered some
450 of the so-called prophets which ate at Jezebel’s table
and there on Mount Carmel he had a
showdown with them. In the story, Elijah
built an altar and he dug a ditch around it.
Yet in my spirit I knew this was not all
that God wanted me to think about. So I
quieted my mind to hear and see this
vision play out as I was captured in this
vision. The altar was built and the ditch
was dug around it. This man, whom I
could see was a modern man, undressed
until he was clothed only in a white linen
towel around his waist. Behind him I saw
twelve buckets of past, present, and future
sins. He climbed upon the altar as though
he was to be the sacrifice. At this point he
laid down with his belly pointed to the
sky. As he laid his true self down before
his God, I could hear him utter these
words. “Here I am Lord, I am going to be
so real with You right now. Do You really
want me? Do You want me as one of
Yours? I’m going to expose all of who I
am. I will hide nothing. Let me say it
again, I will hide nothing. In fact, I will
show You just how ugly I am and how
unworthy I am. I am going to make it
impossible for You to burn this sacrifice.
Here is my life. Every sin I have ever
committed will be poured over this
sacrifice.”
Behold, before my eyes as I worshipped God and gave
Him the highest glory and as I glorified His begotten Son.
I, a simple man of dust, saw a man building an altar
before his God. This vision came to me in the middle of a
church service and I know, I know and I know it to be the
truest of Heavenly visions.
But, let us join in prayer to hear
what the Spirit is saying to each of us and
to the Church. “Father, help us to grasp
what it is that You want us to think about.
Help us to act upon Your teaching found
on these pages. We want a closer and
better walk with You. Let this closer walk
begin today as we read this chapter. Free
our hearts to hear, see, and know You
better. Amen and amen.”
Here is the vision: This man started
to build his altar to the one he called the
First and the Last, the holder of the keys to
Death and Hades, known to all as the
Lord Jesus Christ. The altar was made
with twelve stones, not stones that had
been chiseled or polished, but twelve
natural stones of earth. After the completion of the altar,
he took a shovel, dug a ditch around the altar about three
feet deep, and completely encompassed the altar of
stones.
I first thought the man was Elijah and the story from the
old testament. The story found in first Kings chapter
eighteen. You remember the story: Elijah gathered some
450 of the so-called prophets which ate at Jezebel’s table
and there on Mount Carmel he had a
showdown with them. In the story, Elijah
built an altar and he dug a ditch around it.
Yet in my spirit I knew this was not all
that God wanted me to think about. So I
quieted my mind to hear and see this
vision play out as I was captured in this
vision. The altar was built and the ditch
was dug around it. This man, whom I
could see was a modern man, undressed
until he was clothed only in a white linen
towel around his waist. Behind him I saw
twelve buckets of past, present, and future
sins. He climbed upon the altar as though
he was to be the sacrifice. At this point he
laid down with his belly pointed to the
sky. As he laid his true self down before
his God, I could hear him utter these
words. “Here I am Lord, I am going to be
so real with You right now. Do You really
want me? Do You want me as one of
Yours? I’m going to expose all of who I
am. I will hide nothing. Let me say it
again, I will hide nothing. In fact, I will
show You just how ugly I am and how
unworthy I am. I am going to make it
impossible for You to burn this sacrifice.
Here is my life. Every sin I have ever
committed will be poured over this
sacrifice.”
Chapter Ten “Genuine Forgiveness,”
by Darilyn Bemis
One of the hardest areas in our life as believers is to
exercise genuine forgiveness. At times, it is easier to
forgive and understand a sinner, a non-believer. Of
course, it’s because we see they don’t understand any
better; the truth is not in them.
Some of us, however, choose not to forgive those who
hurt and sin against us. I’m reminded of a family who
lost their daughter because of a reckless driver who ran
a red light. Their daughter was very well liked and
known by many. The youth group of her church family
loved her very much. She was at the age of 18 years
old, in her first year of junior college, and all of a
sudden…she was gone!
Those who have lost a child can also understand the
pain that her family experienced. As time and years
went by, I watched the mother
of this dead child sink deeper and deeper
into unforgiveness and bitterness. I cannot
remember seeing the joy of the Lord upon
her face. There was no acceptance of
someone else’s experience and excitement
of joy from her. She refused to hear about
God’s sovereignty in all this. God’s Word
reminds me: “Look after each other so that not one of
you will fail to find God’s best blessing.
Watch out that no bitterness takes root among
you, for as it springs up it causes deep trouble,
hurting many in their spiritual lives.”
(Hebrews 12:15 TLB)
The spirit of unforgiveness keeps us in bondage. We
lose out in the blessings of God and in the complete
genuine healing so needed in our broken lives today.
The other day, I heard a testimony
of an elderly couple that lost their daughter because of
a drunk driver. The drunk driver was convicted of first-
degree murder and sentenced to prison. His attorney
told him that there was no hope for him. During his stay
in prison and
through an evangelical team of believers
who visited the prison many times, this
man accepted the Lord Jesus Christ. When
this elderly couple had learned of this, they began
writing to him encouraging him in his
growth with the Lord. After months of
correspondence between them, the elderly couple
decided to inform this man that they were
the parents of the young lady he killed
while he was under the influence of
alcohol and they had forgiven him. They
had asked if they could visit with him. He
was surprised and a bit uneasy. What did
they want with him and how could they
forgive him for killing their daughter? He
was a murderer! Of course, only the Lord
Jesus Christ can give us the ability to
forgive, and I mean, really forgive! It is
impossible to do it on our own; we need to
ask Him for help. Forgiveness is a daily
process.
by Darilyn Bemis
One of the hardest areas in our life as believers is to
exercise genuine forgiveness. At times, it is easier to
forgive and understand a sinner, a non-believer. Of
course, it’s because we see they don’t understand any
better; the truth is not in them.
Some of us, however, choose not to forgive those who
hurt and sin against us. I’m reminded of a family who
lost their daughter because of a reckless driver who ran
a red light. Their daughter was very well liked and
known by many. The youth group of her church family
loved her very much. She was at the age of 18 years
old, in her first year of junior college, and all of a
sudden…she was gone!
Those who have lost a child can also understand the
pain that her family experienced. As time and years
went by, I watched the mother
of this dead child sink deeper and deeper
into unforgiveness and bitterness. I cannot
remember seeing the joy of the Lord upon
her face. There was no acceptance of
someone else’s experience and excitement
of joy from her. She refused to hear about
God’s sovereignty in all this. God’s Word
reminds me: “Look after each other so that not one of
you will fail to find God’s best blessing.
Watch out that no bitterness takes root among
you, for as it springs up it causes deep trouble,
hurting many in their spiritual lives.”
(Hebrews 12:15 TLB)
The spirit of unforgiveness keeps us in bondage. We
lose out in the blessings of God and in the complete
genuine healing so needed in our broken lives today.
The other day, I heard a testimony
of an elderly couple that lost their daughter because of
a drunk driver. The drunk driver was convicted of first-
degree murder and sentenced to prison. His attorney
told him that there was no hope for him. During his stay
in prison and
through an evangelical team of believers
who visited the prison many times, this
man accepted the Lord Jesus Christ. When
this elderly couple had learned of this, they began
writing to him encouraging him in his
growth with the Lord. After months of
correspondence between them, the elderly couple
decided to inform this man that they were
the parents of the young lady he killed
while he was under the influence of
alcohol and they had forgiven him. They
had asked if they could visit with him. He
was surprised and a bit uneasy. What did
they want with him and how could they
forgive him for killing their daughter? He
was a murderer! Of course, only the Lord
Jesus Christ can give us the ability to
forgive, and I mean, really forgive! It is
impossible to do it on our own; we need to
ask Him for help. Forgiveness is a daily
process.
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